Asking someone where they are from can seem like a very innocuous question but can quickly turn into a microaggression. It reduces someone’s identity to a social group, city, or culture and can trigger feelings of alienation. It can also reinforce differences and magnify unequal power structures. Instead, rethink your own unconscious bias and listen deeply to what people are willing to share.

Statements like these seem like compliments but they are often loaded with assumptions about a person based on their race or ethnicity such as their intelligence, whether or not English is their first language, or what their speech should sound like. In these examples, the person on the receiving end of the statement likely didn’t fit the other individual’s stereotype. It’s better to make a compliment about the content of what someone is saying vs the ways in which they are saying it.

Statements like this one indicate that a White person does not want to or need to acknowledge race. Rather than being inclusive, the statement denies the significance of a person’s racial/ethnic experience and history. It assumes that everyone should assimilate to the dominant culture and it denies the individual as a racial/cultural being. Instead of working to look past race/ethnicity, see and value a person’s race/ethnicity and question your own racially-based assumptions.

Actions like these assume criminality among people, particularly black men, due to their race or ethnicity. The assumption is that a person is going to commit a crime and/or that they are dangerous — characteristics that are not possible to judge based on someone’s appearance.

Microaggressions can be at the intersection of different identities — in this case, race/ethnicity and gender. Attributing characteristics to an entire population’s race/ethnicity and gender is a form of gendered racism.

Referred to as the “model minority myth,” Asian American people are often stereotyped as whiz kids, musical geniuses, or experts in STEM classes or industries. These stereotypes erase the differences among individuals and ignores the diversity of Asian American cultures. Buried under the stereotypes, the message is that Asian Americans are all the same — and all different from other Americans. The model minority myth also erases racism and systematic discrimination experienced by Asian Americans.

The legacy of historic and intergenerational trauma experienced by Indigenous people as a result of the targeting of their land and people and marginalization and silencing of their communities still wreaks havoc on the mental health and economic wellbeing of many Indigenous communities. Acknowledging history while also celebrating the presence of Indigenous people here today signals that Indigenous communities are still here, and their voices deserve elevation in culture, education, and the media.

Tokenism occurs when someone is viewed by the dominant majority group as a member of a minority group. Examples include when the sole Black person in a group is asked to speak on behalf of all Black people or when someone is referred to by their identities when others are not (such as “our South Asian female board member, Ms. Khan…”). Tokenism is lonely and makes the tokenized extremely visible. With visibility, comes pressure and scrutiny. Instead of erasing the the full complexity of identities, work to be truly inclusive, recognizing and respecting people’s backgrounds, experiences, and identities.

Embedded in these types of critiques is often an assumption that everyone should assimilate to the dominant culture. It can make people feel that they have to leave their culture at the door and that there is no room for difference.

There is no one way to look trans. Further, for some trans people, namely, those who want to pass as cisgender, that is the whole point of transitioning. There’s no need to say it.

Using gendered language, particularly phrases that include binary categories (i.e. “ladies and gentlemen’), often make unnecessary and harmful assumptions about who is in the room and how they identify.

Phrases like “boys will be boys” are often used to excuse bad behavior among men and masculine people. “Man up” is often used to discourage men from crying or being emotional rather than expressing themselves in the way that feels most natural. Both phrases communicate a specific idea of what it means to be a man or masculine, which doesn’t leave room for nuance or complexity.

Women and femmes are often treated as if they exist for the enjoyment or pleasure of others. Catcalling or telling women to smile is a way to dehumanize or infantilize that person for one’s own benefit or pleasure.

Mansplaining occurs when a man provides an explanation, typically to a woman, in a condescending or patronizing manner, to exert dominance in a conversation or imply inferiority

Gender identity isn’t an easy topic to understand, and sometimes we need to unlearn some of our old ideas about what it is so that we can really get what gender is all about. Most of us were taught that there are only two genders (man/masculine and woman/feminine) and two sexes (male and female). However, there is a lot more to it than that. To learn more, check out The Trevor Project’s resources on gender identity.

It’s best practice to ask a person about their pronouns before assuming what they are based on a person’s appearance. Especially when in a group, ask everyone to share (not just those who appear to diverge from typical gender norms). Pronouns, at least for many people, are not a matter of preference but a statement of fact, so ask for “pronouns” rather than “preferred pronouns” to be inclusive. Once someone shares their pronouns, use them correctly and apologize if you make a mistake.

Unfortunately, it is not safe for LGBTQ+ people to be out everywhere. Well-intentioned actions like correcting someone when they use the wrong pronouns for someone or assuming that someone is in a cis/het relationship isn’t always the safest course of action for the LGBTQ+ person involved.

Embedded in these types of actions is often an assumption that everyone should assimilate to the dominant culture. It can make people feel that they have to leave their identity at the door and that there is no room for difference.

This  form of gender bias tries to limit or exclude women and femmes from work, sports, or other types of physical labor, which can be a barrier to employment in specific fields.