What does it mean to support young trans people in an unsupportive world?

Rae James
Rae James

Content Warning: This piece contains mentions of violence, death, and suicide.

Today, November 20th, marks the 25th occurrence of Transgender Day of Remembrance. Initially created in 1999 as a vigil to memorialize Rita Hester and all others lost to anti-transgender violence that year, this day of observance has since evolved into a global movement. Transgender Day of Remembrance serves as a time to acknowledge the impact of violence against our community and to honor the memories of those we have lost.

This landmark anniversary comes at a time of heightened fear and grief for transgender, nonbinary, and gender-expansive people. In recent years, there has been a growing spotlight on the trans community, and an onslaught of anti-trans rhetoric and violence has many fearing further escalation. The anxiety that my friends and I feel about the shifting climate is growing, and on this day especially, we are reminded that the stakes for our community are higher than ever.

The past year has been yet another period of significant violence against the transgender community, with 43 reported deaths of trans people by violent means in the United States. We know that the most marginalized within our communities continue to experience the brunt of this violence, with Black transgender women facing a higher number of deaths — which often receive little to no media coverage — compared to other groups. 

In addition to the 43 violent deaths, 24 trans individuals have died by suicide. This reality cannot be viewed in isolation from the bullying, harassment, discrimination, and other forms of violence that deeply impact trans people’s well-being. Even if we are privileged enough to minimize direct impact, the toll of witnessing repeated injustices against our community affects us all.

Whether it is seeing the deaths of young trans kids like Nex Benedict and Pauly Likens highlighted on the news or encountering a hateful post online, anti-trans messages are pervasive. The impact of being constantly exposed to these messages is significant on trans people’s mental health. As heavy as these moments are for me personally, my heart breaks for the trans kid growing up amidst this climate of hate and eroding possibilities instead of messages of acceptance and hope. 

These messages — playing out in legislatures, newsrooms, and even around dinner tables — communicate the same sentiment: that we are unseen, alone, and deserving of isolation. But together, we can change the conversation and create a community where EVERYONE feels valued. So, what does that look like?

HOW TO SUPPORT TRANS COMMUNITIES (today and every day)

Show Up

  • Show up for trans people and affirm that they are welcome in your communities. Take part in a TDoR event in your community, organize your own event, or take part in a virtual vigil. 
  • Do the work in little ways and big ways. Many trans people are looking for allies right now, so show up and let them know they can count on you! Use the tools in your toolkit to show them they can count on you — whether it is creating communities with trans inclusion in mind, sharing your pronouns, or correcting others when they misspeak instead of leaving that responsibility to others — find your way to be an advocate!

Make it Clear

  • Trans identities are at the frontlines of a political debate, and now is the time to actively declare that trans people are more than welcome, but are also an essential part of your community. Don’t let others normalize exclusion or leave room for ambiguity. 
  • The world may try to isolate trans people from communities, but the power to resist that and make it clear that ALL of us belong lies with each of us!

Educate Yourself & Others

  • Don’t look away from the rising violence and hateful rhetoric; keep engaged and bring the conversation to your network. Take on the work of teaching others and don’t rely on trans people alone to carry the weight. 
  • Taking the time to learn something new about trans equality regularly helps to feel more confident having those conversations — whether you are familiarizing yourself they/them or ze/hir pronouns, researching the history of trans identities across different cultures, or learning about the discrimination trans people face (even in death).

It’s easy to feel powerless in the face of the world we are met with, but the real power lives in us all collectively. Hand in hand, we have the ability to build a world that sees and values us all.

 

LGBTQ+ Crisis Resources:

The Trevor Project: 1-866-488-7386

Trans Lifeline: 1-877-565-8860